frozen coagulated culture

The true, authentic lyrics:

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don’t we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

The true authentic alternate version:

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n’ too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory’s pop is lolly gaggin’ on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, ‘lope with you!
Chollie’s collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

• I am very detail-oreinted.
• It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
• Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
• Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.
• I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
• Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
• Special skills: Thyping.
• Never been fired, although it could happen anytime now.
• I have recently sold my home and I now live in a large RV so I will be able to relocate quickly.
• Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.
• Strengths: Impersonal skills.

More here.

Tom Tomorrow reports that Conservapedia has the answer.

They don’t mention whether the image below was done from a live model (it was oversharpened and I fixed it up a little).

From Khoi Vinh.

Here’s a companion for the dramatic prairie dog.

Via Splodinvark, via Sigg3.net (I’ve modified the image a bit).